Obituary of Barbara S. Lyng

Barbara Shults Lyng, of Irondequoit, NY, passed away peacefully on February 25^th, 2026, from natural causes at the age of 86. She is predeceased by her husband John “Jack” H. Lyng (February 1993) and survived by her loving sons James S. Lyng (Arlington, VA) and Robert J. Lyng, as well as beloved daughter-in-law Elizabeth Lyng, and grandchildren Charlotte Anne Lyng and Bennett Alexander Lyng (Lexington, MA).

Known to many as Barbara Jane (“BJ”), she was born on January 23, 1940 in Bath, New York to Harold Shults and Jessie McTarnaghan Shults. A self-described “middle child” between older sisters Rita, Doris, Margaret and younger brother Harold, she loved her family, community, and their farm deeply. But her knack for numbers, calculations, and accounting lead her to other opportunities. 

Barbara worked in payroll at The Aquinas Institute of Rochester, where she met Jack, a Spanish teacher. She liked to tell the story that Jack had neglected to cash his paychecks, which bothered her enough to confront him at lunch and insist he deposit them. The rest, as they say, is history. They married on July 4, 1969, and spent more than 40 years together in Irondequoit, New York. After raising her sons, Barbara returned to payroll and banking, working for several institutions, including Security, NorthStar, Fleet, and Bank of America. Though the name on the building changed over the years, she remained a steady presence in the job she knew so well.

Although her professional life was impressive, it was only a fraction of her attention. As the wife of a football coach, she kept the household running—washing jerseys, cleaning equipment, cooking, helping with bake sales, and cheering through more rain than sunshine. Later, when her sons began playing lacrosse, she did even more: scrubbing uniforms, piecing together equipment, finding money for camps, and spending countless hours driving to practices and games, always there to support them in every kind of weather.

As time passed, her focus expanded to her grandchildren with the intent of giving them the gift of education, specifically an understanding of the size and diversity of the United States. She led family trips to Florida, Texas, and Hawaii. As a lifelong lover of travel, she was able to say she visited 49 of 50 states (lacking only Alaska). 

In later years, she amassed a huge book collection, spent time volunteering, and cheered for her grandchildren from sidelines to concert halls. 

Her family will always remember her as quick-witted, compassionate, graceful, loyal, supportive, generous, and loving.

Barbara's Graveside Service will be held Saturday, June 6, 2026, 11:00 AM at Irondequoit Cemetery (Section AA), 3671 Culver Road, Rochester, NY 14622.