Thursday, February 7, 2013
Eulogy:
Hi, My name is Kelly. As some of you know, I, along with Donna and my mother Laura have been caring for Phil and Dorothy for a little over a year. We started helping him by assisting his wife, Dorothy, with housework, laundry, and her personal needs. As time went on, we began to help Phil as well; accompanying him to doctor appointments, taking out the trash, going grocery shopping, and helping him up and down stairs. At first Phil was reluctant to receive help, but later told us that he realized that he really needed the help and wondered how he was so lucky to get such good people in to help him. I can’t say with any certainty who the lucky one was - because we learned a lot from him and felt privileged to have met him. In the end, it didn’t matter as we all enjoyed each other’s company so much and had a lot of laughs together. When I was asked to speak at his funeral I felt honored, but also a little bit lost. I know so much of his recent life and so little of his past. I asked the family for background information and soon realized I knew more than I thought.
Felix is a first generation American and an equally proud Polish descendant. This was obvious in many aspects of his life, especially in the kitchen. Phil’s office had three essentials, a computer in front of him, the Knicks game in the background and Polish cookbooks filling the shelves. He was an accomplished cook, and culinary critic as Donna, Laura and I found out! The more we learned about Phil the easier it was to see how connected we all were; sharing recipes, music, dances, laughs, photographs, and stories. Sometimes, Phil would even share a few candies, and then promptly store them away in his “secret� location - even if we were present while he did so.
Phil was also a brilliant student, first in his graduating class at Edison Tech. favoring math and engineering. He used his numerical skill sets in his career at Gleason Works for 43 years, developing machinery, one of which was patented, and good rapport with his coworkers.
Aside from academics, Phil was also quite fond of gardening. For years he cultivated Roses, some of which were originals from his mother’s garden. He always tended to them, and sometimes offered them as gifts. Perhaps it was his gentle and patient approach to life that led him to 61 yrs of bliss with Dorothy.
As a young man, Phil was the baby amongst his 6 siblings, but the biggest too! It is no wonder that he met Dorothy on his way home from basketball. The two were on a bus, when Phil found himself compelled to sit with the young beauty and eventually ask for a first date. This was only the beginning of a series of questions Phil would ask Dorothy. He would always ask her to be his partner for dances, and eventually his partner in life; a loving wife and mother.
Phil and Dorothy had a constantly blossoming romance, dancing polka, meeting with friends like Helen and Al, and parenting 3 amazing children; Mark, Cheryl, and the “bonus baby� Keith. Cheryl is so much like her mother that I would imagine Phil got to see his wife young again by watching Cheryl grow up. He was certainly a role model for the boys, teaching them life lessons and commitment to family. Family was very important to Phil. He was a good, kind man who loved his wife and family deeply. His friends were like family and he dearly loved them as well. He decorated his house with pictures of those most important to them. I learned a lot about Phil and understood that when he told us that we were a part of his family that it meant that he loved us as much as we knew we loved him.
Phil was always trying to keep people as sharp as he was, teaching, and making lessons out of simple tasks. I asked Cheryl a few nights ago if Phil was the one who taught Mark and Keith how to hunt… she simply laughed and said… “I think it was the other way around�!
Phil and Dorothy raised three wonderful children and were finally blessed with their first grandchildren, John and Lindsey. They were a long awaited gift. Not long afterwards, their grandson David became the heir to the family name, and made the Wrubleskis proud. Lauren was the final installment to the Wrubleski family and made them complete. Phil and Dorothy adored their granddaughter; babysitting her, taking care of her after school, helping her poolside and with homework – she was a true joy in Phil’s life.
Phil recently hired Lauren to come over to work so she could earn some spending money. Phil wanted to instill a strong work ethic in her and he made sure that she kept busy while she was there. He knew that it was a teachable moment and didn’t want to just hand her some money: he wanted her to learn to earn her way in the world. Lauren is 15 today, another thing Phil would be pleased to share with her. She is turning into the beautiful young woman Phil already saw her as.
I can finally tell you about the part of Phil’s life I know best. I know his sneaky smile and little peculiarities, his dry sense of humor, keen sense of timing, and most of all his love of life. Phil is the only 80 + year old man I imagine I will ever have the privilege of teaching the use of a computer to. He is the only man I have learned another language for, as his at times indecipherable hand gestures were all I had to go on. For example, if he circled his hand around his neck and head area it meant that things were kind of hectic that day. If he shook his hand at shoulder level it meant that things were going so-so that day. If he waved his hand at head level it meant that things were really out of control in his opinion. Phil is the only man who has invited me into the family. As an honorary Wrubleski I would like to Thank Phil for sharing the last year of his life with me, and all of you!
I know that if you are here today, you are people that Phil had respect for and are some of the people who Phil loved most. We will all miss Phil but must remember the entirety of his life, not just his recent past. The ending isn’t what defined Phil and is not what we’ll think of as we discuss him as the years go by. We will remember the fun and silly times that we had with him, his sense of humor, his laugh and his bright smile. We will remember a man who loved his wife as all women hope their husbands will love them. We will remember a man who when told by his doctor about a year ago that if he wanted to do something, he shouldn’t wait but to do it now.
Phil knew what was most important in life and that is family. He was not a man who was afraid to say I love you. I hope that his legacy of love of family will be remembered and carried on by each one of you also.
We now say farewell to our good friend with love,
Thank you.
