Obituary of Joseph C Merry

There was a reason people called him “Big Dog”. There were even more reasons he was called a loving and devoted husband, best dad ever, Coach, and true friend.

Joseph Merry, 60, of Irondequoit, NY, passed away unexpectedly on August 5, 2024.

Joe was born in Lowville, NY on April 14, 1964, to Clarence and Jeanne Merry. As a child, he developed his deep appreciation for family, his love for the woods, and his passion for fun and games.

He graduated from Beaver River High School, where he was voted “Whopper Teller” as his senior superlative, an endearing way of recognizing his captivating and often embellished stories — a trait that stayed with him his entire life. He played basketball, football, and baseball, although he was often more interested in the social aspect of sports.

After a slow start to his college career (his first semester boasting grades of “a C, two Ds, an F, and an Incomplete”), Joe finished strong and went on to get an Associates degree in mechanical engineering from Mohawk Valley Community College. Although his GPA didn't indicate he was book smart, he took being life smart to the next level. As a young adult, he knew what it meant to work hard and play harder.

Joe met the love of his life Kim when she picked him up at a bar in 1986. It was the powder pink shirt, brown eyes, and “the most beautiful head of hair” that initially impressed her, but it was his truly genuine goodness that had her hooked. After winning over his future mother-in-law by throwing spaghetti at the wall, Kim and Joe were married in May of 1987. Married for 37 years, their marriage was and will always be a testimony of what selfless, patient, kind, steadfast love really is.

Joe became the proud father of his daughter Jaymie in 1990 and his son Steven in 1992. As a husband and a father, he exuded unconditional love, unwavering devotion, and strong leadership. He preached the importance of family, being a team, working hard, helping others, and standing strong in faith. Joe was so incredibly proud of his children. He was invested in every aspect of their life - never missing a game, a cheerleading competition, or an award ceremony. He was a role model and friend to their friends. He valued quality time, play, and
teaching life lessons.

Joe was a beloved coach, officially coaching football, basketball, and baseball (Go Mustangs!), and unofficially coaching everything else anyone might need. He gave the best motivational speeches, demanded sportsmanship, and modeled what it meant to “work hard, get it done.” He developed deep, life-long friendships with both his players and fellow coaches through the years.

Joe became a Papa to his granddaughter Brooke in 2021 and his grandson Jayce is 2023. Papa was the perfect nap partner and loved teaching the kids to fish, how to look for deer, and how to say “Papa.” And he, of course, told the best stories.

Joe worked at Turner Bellows, Inc. for 36 years and served for most of those years as Vice President. He was a dedicated leader and genuinely cared for this company, its mission, and its employees.

Joe was “living the dream” with Kim golfing, hunting, hanging out on Irondequoit Bay kayaking and jet skiing, and attending Yankees Spring Training games while spending the winters at their home in Florida. He also loved fishing, reading, wood carving, and painting but, above all else, spending as much time as possible with his family.

His family was everything to him. Steven was his first call each morning to talk about everything from home improvement projects to work to their last round of golf to solving world problems. He loved “breaking things down” with his son, a man who is so much like his father. Jaymie is a daddy’s girl through and through. Joe and Jaymie shared a love of fishing and could talk for hours about anything. They processed the same way - talk it out, over and over, until it makes sense. Whenever any member of the Core Four did anything, whether a grand adventure or just a night out, the first question that was asked was, “Any stories?” He loved his son-in-law Kurt and daughter-in-law-to-be Brittany like they were his own kids.

We will always remember Joe’s lessons, wisdom, stories, kindness, and laughter that he brought to each of us. Joe’s legacy is one of extra-ordinary love and joy that will live on in each and every person that had the pleasure of knowing him.

Joe was preceded in death by his father Clarence and is survived by his wife, Kim (Kiellach) Merry; mother, Jeanne Merry; mother-in-law, Dottie Kiellach, father-in-law, Kenneth (Sharon) Kiellach; daughter, Jaymie (Kurt) Stavdal; son, Steven (fiancé Brittany Houghton); grandchildren, Brooke and Jayce Stavdal; sister, Debbie (Mark) Bunce; brother, Jeff (Penny) Merry; sister, Khrista (Joe) Wargo; brother-in-law, Chris (Karen) Kiellach; sister-in-laws, Cheryl Perry and Jennifer Kiellach; and many aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, and close friends.

His family will receive friends Sunday, August 11, 1-4pm at the funeral home (570 Kings Highway So.). Friends are invited to meet the family Monday, August 12, 10:00 am at St. Kateri At St. Margaret Mary Church (401 Rogers Pkwy, Rochester, NY 14617) for his funeral mass. Interment Irondequoit Cemetery. In lieu of flowers memorials may be directed to Avanti Therapeutic Projects, 908 87th Ave, Hudson, WI 54016, Heritage Christian Services, 275 Kenneth Dr Suite 100, Rochester, NY 14623 or Mote Marine Laboratory & Aquarium, 1600 Ken Thompson Pkwy, Sarasota, FL 34236.